Weddings....

Ahh...how I love family weddings, lets just say my family knows how to have a good time and take up space on the dance floor. And I love every minute of it. This has now been the 4th family wedding, and every time one comes around the question gets asked, "When are you getting married?" I smile at them and just say not anytime soon...and I know that is the truth. I sit through each wedding and listen to what has been said by many about love, marriage, and the committment it is, and I know I don't have that yet. I look forward to that day when I am looking into the eyes of the one I love and proudly stating my committment to his and my family and friends. But I know, I must be patient, and whoever the guy is, I know he is out there....for all I know I could have met him, or he is just around the corner...the truth is I don't know, and I need to be patient with that idea, and enjoy being young. But my one of many questions is, how do I enjoy this without regretting my decsions later, but then when I think about it, I guess I will learn and grow from my mistakes, and that my man is out there, and he will love me, just as much as I see the love in my family from the newly weds, to those who have shared more than half their life with their special someone and how you know deep in your heart that they are in love. That is what I want, but to get it I must be patient, and I must be willing to put myself out there. That is something else tonight that I noticed, that if I am around good looking guys or even have to walk near them...I close up and look down, where as I know that you as my friends, might think that is not me at all, but I am sorry to say I am not as outgoing around those I don't know, and that falls under that category of men...just ask those of my past and present. I am shy, and don't know what to say, but why I don't know I just need to be myself and that is who my man will fall in love with. Otherwise it will be based on a lie, and won't be meant to be, so I just need to stick up for myself and stand tall.